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| we all learn new things during a holiday. this holiday i saw myself through your eyes. it's not a pretty sight and to be honest, it burns. everyday we go through the same things over and over, emotions enumerating higher and higher. anger bursting from it's very core and tears flowing from my faint eyes. i cannot deny how tiresome it feels. hence i got up this morning re-determined to make things right but since when does things go your way. in fact, it turned out the entire opposite. AGAIN, emotions, anger, tears.
i am not materialistic. it stung when i heard you say i was becoming because being materialistic is an insult. i hate superficial materialistic girls and knowing that you think i was one of them made me realise how blurred your image of me was. i don't need you to buy me expensive gifts, i don't even need you to buy me a gift. i don't need your gifts. i just need your attention and your love. and if you cannot give me that, then i'm with the wrong guy.
our patience for each other has quickly diminished. i walked away from you because i felt that if we continue pursuing the matter, i would have ended up in tears and you would be annoyed at me again. just thinking of what happened before again, pierces my heart. i don't want to know what would have become of us if i hadn't messaged you. your face is imprinted in my head and it's painful. it's painful knowing how irritating i am to you when in the past you would always say i am your angel. i don't feel like your angel anymore. i feel like a burden and that we're just in this because there's no way out.
i don't want to be reminded of unhappy memories but the wound is new and the aftermath of feelings is still strongly embedded in me. there's just no way out to tell you all these and the only way of doing it and not being irritating to you is by blogging and letting the entire world know how stupid i am.
im sticking with you for now, but you have a part to play, to walk away or to stay.
with that said, life is never the same without you. and for the record, i miss your cooking.
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| it seems to me that as everyday passes by, you're walking in the opposite direction of me. i cant do anything, i feel useless. i have so much emotions to let out but i know with every thing comes with a consequence. im filled with negativity i find hard to face. running away is the best i can do. i know sooner or later i'll have to face up to it. i dont know what's the cause of it..
i just dont know what to say or do anymore. im losing myself because i cant live up to your expectations. i cant breathe.. i want to go home..
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| at the end of the day, lonliness finds its way to you.
today's probably one of it's worst. i feel unappreciated, misunderstood, not cared for, unhappy. my intentions are pure. im lost and hurt because i dont know why this is happening. are we sick of one another? what is it?!?!
im sick of feeling this way and im pulling you down.
Im sad, i dont know what to do, where to go.
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| When I look at you, I feel love in your eyes.
I count my blessings over and over again.
I must have done something right to have found my soulmate this fast.
Loving you and letting you into my life is the best decision I've made.
You are my teacher, my guide, my soulmate, my best friend and my lover.
I apologise for my past mistakes. For driving you crazy, for eating up your patience
and for not living up to expectations which is for the good of me.
I have never shared so much of my life with anyone and I'm just glad I got to with you.
I pray and hope this love we share will never die because I know I am for you
as you are for me.
Thank you for all you've shared and sacrificed for me.
Thank you for making my dream of wanting to always be with you come true.
Thank you for holding on to me despite my incessant needs.
I love you & our little family we have now.
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| for all the love, all the pain, all the tears
my heart remains with you darling
i'm taking this final step
to love you with all my might
to give you all of me
to be the best I can be.
you carry my heart
you carry it with you
I love you marcus
Yours always and forever,
sherie
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